How is this Halloween Story?

Halloween Story for 2007

By

Jackie Edwards

It was Lester and Mary Jane鈥檚 first Halloween together and Lester really wanted to make it special for Mary Jane, who was afraid of her own shadow at least that is what she wanted Lester to believe.

As they were spending the day together on Halloween Lester broke a mirror, OH NO!! he yelled. I now will have karmically bad juju and my soul will be trapped inside the Bizarre World for 7 years waiting to be renewed.

He started to tell her the legend of mirrors being a trap, a trap for souls. Souls are caught in them. 鈥淕ravestones with mirrors are believed to trap the soul of the deceased at the gravesite鈥? even spookier now, 鈥渨hen the spite of the dead rise on Halloween night鈥? We need, no we must, go to the grave yard tonight before midnight and put these broken pieces on the headstones of all the graves. I must do this good deed to counter act my horrific action. As he spoke in the spookiest quivering voice he could she clung to his arm tighter and tighter. We also should take some water for the souls that are already out of the ground so they will J U M P!! in the water instead of going into the streets of the town and reeking havoc on the entire settlement. We must do this, Mary Jane, we must. For all of humanity and all that is good in this world鈥e must.

Then she whispered 鈥淲e must?鈥?br> He just looked deep into her eyes and whispered back鈥e must.

They picked up the broken pieces with out looking into the mirror for fear of getting trapped. They wrapped the pieces in brown paper and put them in a brown paper sack that had only been used once. They dressed alike so the ghost would not know who was real and who was a reflection. They put on a black floppy hat to cover the top of their head so spiders would not get in their hair. They put on black shoes and black socks so the sprits they walked on would not see them.

Lester was having a great time scaring Mary Jane. Mary Jane knew what Lester was doing and played along with it having fun too.

As they grabbed a flash light they were off to do their good deed of the day.

As they reached the grave site Mary Jane moved closer to Lester holding firm to him with one hand and holding a bucket of water in the other. They walked past the gate and she was almost hiding herself underneath his arm.

Walking past the headstones and statues was spooky.

She was getting a little anxious, but it was a fun anxious and she knew Lester was having an immense moment too. She looked up at him and quivered as he would say 鈥渞est in peace my friend鈥?and place a piece of broken mirror on the gravestone. 鈥淩.I.P鈥?

Then he looked into her eyes and whispered 鈥 wonder how many souls you are holding in that bucket of water. As she looked down the water make a splash and that was all she could take鈥he bucket flew out of her hand and onto the fresh grave just ahead of her. Lester knew she did not see the piece of broken mirror on top of the grave for she flung herself out of his grasp and ran all the way back to the car.

How is this Halloween Story?

Good little story, but the ending was a let down. Work on a different ending..right after the line.."Wonder how many souls you're holding...etc."..story fell apart after this and was a disappointment...but, it has possibilities...just needs work.

Best of luck.

How is this Halloween Story?

thanks for the best answer. You definitely have talent, so keep at it. Don't give up! And please make sure I get a personal signed copy of your first published novel. : ) Report It

How is this Halloween Story?

OK for a 14-year-old.

How is this Halloween Story?

And the point of this story is??