Do you like my story? Its about 9/11 and it's from a 12 yr old's perspective. it is fictio

This is the story I just got done writing. I just wanted to know if you all liked it or not? Here it is:

閳ユ穾nd now we go back to some of your favorite country classics!閳?the radio announcer stated, waking 12 year old Jake Steins with a start. He quickly turned off his alarm clock and glanced at the time. 6:01am. It was going to be a good day. Something in Jake閳ユ獨 mind was fuzzy, but he thought nothing of it. He got out of bed before his mother could yell at him to get up and picked out his clothes. He walked into the bathroom and got dressed, brushed his teeth, and combed his hair.

After breakfast, he flipped on the TV to one of his favorite TV shows閳ユ摬tar Wars. He watched it for about 10 minutes then he got up and got his things together for school. Jake gave his parents each a hug and walked out the door to the bus stop. He met his friend, Tommy Torres, there and they got on the bus and sat together. As they both listened to their MP3 players, Jake dozed off like he usually did. When the bus pulled up to the front of the middle school, Tommy and Jake got off the bus and walked into the school.

The school was abuzz with students running around, eating breakfast, going into the main office, and walking into the hallways towards the lockers. Jake and Tommy strolled into the cafeteria to hang out with a few friends before the start of school. Little did anyone know that something terrible was going to unfold in about an hour or so.

At around 9am, in Jake閳ユ獨 2nd hour class, the principal came on the intercom. His voice was sad and shaky. 閳ユ藩tudents and staff, we have just been informed that the World Trade Towers in New York City have been hit by 2 hijacked commercial jetliners. At this time, there is no word on how many have been killed, but the number is suspected to be quite high. The jets hit at around 8:45 this morning. I閳ユ獓 like to have a moment of silence at this time for all the families affected by this terrible tragedy. Also, school will resume as normal but please just remember how the families of the people killed must feel. That is all.閳?br> After the moment of silence, Jake閳ユ獨 second hour teacher turned on the news. The tragedy was unfolding again and Jake watched in horror. A few girls cried, but most of the boys were silent. Jake didn閳ユ獩 know what to say. He sat in his desk in astonishment. 閳ユ翻his tragedy has affected thousands of people and we pray for everyone affected,閳?said the news anchor.

In the background of the tragedy, someone was playing taps. As the smoke bellowed from both buildings, Jake couldn閳ユ獩 bear to think that there were actually people still in there going through a living nightmare. He wondered what the next few days would be like for their families. He wondered if anything big would happen because of the attacks. He wanted to know so much, but at that time, the information he was looking for was unavailable.

At 10am, the principal came on with another announcement, 閳ユ穾bout a half hour ago, the Pentagon was hit by the same hijackers. Many people were killed there also. That is the only information that has been made available at this time. That is all.閳?br> The days following the tragedy were the hardest to watch on TV. Everyday the tragedy unfolded so many times that each time it unfolded on the TV screen, a piece of Jake閳ユ獨 heart broke, just thinking about the many people that were killed. He hoped that there閳ユ獓 never be a day like that again.

Do you like my story? Its about 9/11 and it's from a 12 yr old's perspective. it is fictional. Id like opinion

You have an intriguing concept! Do you have a plan as to what the extended plot will be? I would suggest that you elaborate upon the story, make it more detailed and add dialogue. Your story will be more interesting with an extended build-up to the events of 9/11. Readers like suspense even if they know what will happen. Your characters might somehow be involved in the events rather than to be simply in school, perhaps knowing someone who was a victim. There was great emotion expended during those days, and your story might express that sense of anguish and the fear aroused by the fact of a major terrorist attack being perpetrated upon the United States -- the possibilities for a dramatic and dynamic fictional account are endless! Good luck with your efforts.

Do you like my story? Its about 9/11 and it's from a 12 yr old's perspective. it is fictional. Id like opinion

Thanks for the Best Answer! I think that you definitely have talent, and I wish you success and happiness in your writing career! Report It

Do you like my story? Its about 9/11 and it's from a 12 yr old's perspective. it is fictional. Id like opinion

It's a good start

Do you like my story? Its about 9/11 and it's from a 12 yr old's perspective. it is fictional. Id like opinion

It's a pretty good start of a story, but I don't think a principal would announce that at school, or at least they don't at my school or my other friends' schools.

Do you like my story? Its about 9/11 and it's from a 12 yr old's perspective. it is fictional. Id like opinion

I like it,

Just try to fix this:

(quote)

ittle did anyone know that something terrible was going to unfold in about an hour or so.(endquote)

As a 9th grader (about 4-5 miles away from WTC), I know that teachers like statements, not "or so"'s. Try leaving it at "...something terrible was soon to unfold."

Just out of curiousity, where is this story based?

Do you like my story? Its about 9/11 and it's from a 12 yr old's perspective. it is fictional. Id like opinion

Wow! If there is more to it email it to me @ LuverXD@aol.com! thanks. ps I love it i like books from another's persons perspective.

Do you like my story? Its about 9/11 and it's from a 12 yr old's perspective. it is fictional. Id like opinion

it's a good start and my principal annouces stuff like, was he at a religious school? coz i am and my principal annocues stuff like that

email me when u finish it bradw95@hotmail.com

Do you like my story? Its about 9/11 and it's from a 12 yr old's perspective. it is fictional. Id like opinion

um its alright.. its pretty blan

Do you like my story? Its about 9/11 and it's from a 12 yr old's perspective. it is fictional. Id like opinion

It's a good story...but are you trying to get it published?